Why Do School Shootings Happen and How Can Parents Prevent Mass Murders at Schools?
In August 2019, a 15-year-old girl in California was arrested by police after she posted a threat on Snapchat saying she was going to commit a mass shooting at school. The post contained a photo of a gun and the message, “Don’t come to school tomorrow.” Informed of the post by the FBI, police tracked the girl’s GPS location and caught her. Police found a BB gun at the teen’s home, but no other guns were found. The unnamed girl had a bright future, but unfortunately, she has potentially ruined her life, police said.
A year later, 2 teens from Rochester have been charged with conspiracy of murder and intimidation. According to the police, investigators identified a lot of Facebook posts and messages indicating the teens were planning school shootings at Rochester High School and Caston High School.
The two had profile pictures of the Columbine shooters, got tattoos of guns with quotes from the killers, and constantly listened to music about the well-known school massacre. According to their social networks, the teens were waiting for school to open to “kill a bunch of kids.” One of the boys turned 18 in August and was transferred to the Fulton County Jail. Obviously, the boys’ happy future is also broken.
Is ruining the kid’s future life a justifiable measure? How should parents act if they suspect their kids have bloody fantasies? How can we identify a simple emotional post and a real threat? Caroline Garrett, a PsyD, shared her own thoughts on this topic.
When you think about the 15-year-old girl whose future was broken because of the Snapchat post, what comes to your mind?
The first thing that comes to my mind is the idea that we don’t know all the circumstances and that police have much more data than we do. But if the post was just a kind of sick joke or an attempt to attract classmates’ attention, the whole situation is puzzling and the punishment is not justified. Even if a teen writes, “Let’s go to school and kill everybody”, it requires other measures to be taken.
Well, when the case was discussed on social networks, the views varied. Some adults called actions taken by police an outrage, and others asked, “And what if she comes to school and kills your child?” The former had nothing to oppose.
Yes, I hope that police have strong evidence proving that the post was not just a usual kid’s grudge. One can be bullied and feel offended, which causes a desire to share one’s feelings online and, probably, to find support. Simultaneously, to charge a kid with preparing a massacre requires enough evidence.
Is it enough evidence when a child is following a group about the 1999 massacre? Or ‘liking’ posts about school shootings? Or taking part in a suspicious discussion?
We all follow various groups. We all watch movies, for example, with scenes of violence. Many people like such shots and feel thrilled when watching them, but you can’t suspect a person because of their preferences and opinion.
So where is the boundary between harmless discussions like, “I hate them all and would kill them”, and a real threat when a teen will once bring guns to school?
Intentions anticipate our actions and this is a really complicated psychological issue. There are some aspects that help us identify whether a teen is ready for action or simply shares their fantasies. Dangerous intentions always have a plan and tools like in the case of 2 teens of Rochester. This is well known by police who use these discussions, plans, and tools as evidence to prove a criminal’s intentions. But if a kid simply wrote something bad on social networks, it can’t be called a real intention.
Yes, the boys from Rochester have already prepared guns and a strict plan of their crime.
When a teen already buys guns for implementing their plans, this is a very dangerous case. But when kids shout in despair, “I want you dead”, they don’t intend to kill you. They’re simply flooded with the feelings they can’t control.
Why do kids follow Columbine groups? Is being a victim of bullying the only reason?
In my opinion, such groups attract teenagers who can’t find suitable social surroundings in real life. They tend to be unsociable, full of grudge, and anger. They have nobody to discuss their troubles with and to support them. They feel emasculated and pointless and think that parents pay attention to them only when they’re criticizing them, and classmates notice them only when bullying and mocking them.
When a boy ‘likes’ a picture of a guy with guns near a school, his mother starts to panic. And I can understand her.
All people, including kids, often ‘like’ weird posts, and their reaction to the post can be hardly interpreted. But this signal is not for police, and even not for school teachers. At this stage, only parents must take measures.
It’s good when parents are aware of the kids’ online life and know what social groups the kid follows to make sure that they are not involved in unwanted activities and plans.
Yes, parental control software is now very popular among parents who want to know what their kids are up to.
This is one of the ways to keep an eye on kids’ social activities. So, if you find unwanted activities on your child’s networks, I recommend you discuss it with a kid in a calm and careful way instead of saying, “this is forbidden”, “this is illegal”, “you’ll get into trouble”. Your critics won’t help.
How can we begin a calm dialogue so that the kid wouldn’t storm out?
Adults can start with a question that expresses their feeling, for example, their worry for the child and their desire to understand what’s happening in the teen’s life. You should also show the ability and wish to support your beloved one. A parent can also share their own experience and tell about their youth problems.
And if a teen doesn’t want to listen to the parents’ childhood stories or the family members have already lost their connection, what should a parent do?
If a child isn’t in a good connection with parents, this is a sign that something went wrong. A usual discussion can’t change it for the better.
What should parents do then? For example, a parent has found out that the kid follows a suspicious group and gets worried but the child refuses to discuss any problems with parents. Imagine a family dinner when all the relatives get together and one of the adults asks, “So you’re interested in shootings, aren’t you?” I have no idea how to ask such questions.
In this case, it’s better to go to a psychologist. When a parent gets too nervous and can’t cope with it, he/she can’t change the situation for the better. It’s also helpful to calm down and to find a suitable moment for the discussion of the problem. You can simply tell your child, “Are you fine? I feel that something is going wrong and that you are upset. Tell me what’s going on, please. Probably, I can help you”. If you don’t know how to discuss the problem, you can be fair, “I don’t know how to start discussing it, but I can’t stay away”. Or if you’ve found anything unwanted or suspicious in their online profile, you can say, “I saw it and I’m afraid that something bad can happen’’.
There’s no ready-made recipe for this conversation, and if there’s one, you shouldn’t use it. It’s better to be open for discussion and be sincere with your beloved one, let the conversation be awkward but sincere and lively.
This is the only way to achieve trust.
